Ex-girlfreind

A mirror is shattered in my life this morning. Today I am supposed to meet my former ex-girlfriend; am a little an easy about the whole thing. We broke up about three years ago after being together for almost one year. She is a one of the few good looking Somali girls I have ever met. She is a very beautiful Somali woman. Her femininity could overwhelm men at their strongest moment. She was as delicate as that snowflake in a beautiful winter. Her soul-stealing smile hid her purest of pure virtues. She was the first girl I have ever fall in love with.
The reason we broke up is still misery. No one knows what initiated the break up. All I remember is that our lives were heading in different directions. I was going to college in far away land while she wanted to get a job and start a new life. Things were great at first when we started our relationship. We both conformed to the Islamic rules of not touching and kissing opposite sex .Our relationship was so secretive that no one knew it except close friends. We were both cool with the Islamic rules since we were Muslims(still we are Muslims). Our innocent love was an unconditional love of the will and the mind. After we broke up we lost contacts.
One day while I was walking aimlessly in the local Somali community shopping mall; I happened to see her there. Its been three years since the last time I saw her. We were both glad of seeing each other .You could tell that lost and found was our gentle grace. We exchanged numbers and promised to call each other when we get home. The same night I picked up the phone and called her. I felt like a rose once wilted and now full of flowers. Just talking to her brought some of our old innocent feelings vividly. We had a long conversation on how life was treating us. Somewhere along the conversation our break up came up! She started complaining on how I never made the effort to look for her. Chocked by emotions, I did understand all the broken dreams, all the broken hearts and all the disappointment she was going through. There is nothing quite like when you discover the reality of love.
We talked about our love lives .I was honest to her that I have pursued few girls after she spurned my love. I have kissed and played pillow game while in college(college life, can’t blame it!).She was a little surprised but she kept quite and paid tentative ear. She later told me about her dating life too. We decided to keep in touch. We have been occasionally calling each other for the last nine months. We decided to meet after I was done with my final exams. Today is the day we set up for the get together but this morning I am not in the mood of seeing her. I don’t know why I am freaking out or why I am scared of the girl? Am I scared that I will make a fool of myself? I see myself running away from this girl. Even though my body is pleading for me to stop running; I am still running away. If I stop running away from her I feel like I am looking weak.